Tired. Nothing really interest me. Not wanting to complete my dissertation. Not wanting to prepare for work. Don't want to work. Don't want to do anything. Wasted. No drive. No interest. Nothing. Life draws to a blank. No purpose. No matter how precious life is. No matter how rare this opportunity is. I'm again at a lost. Not sure why I'm feeling this way but how it goes. Just lost the meaning and drive to life. Somehow, with that I realise how it must have been for peopl who too lost that meaning and direction in life. All their life they pursue one thing after another. They maintain and take care of the responsibilities that they have only to realise that that too will pass. Every fleeting moment continues whatever it is that you do. Lost. Lost the sense of purpose. No direction, no way, no light at the end of the tunnel. Really. Don't care. I'm not in touch with reality. Wasting.. wasting... wasted. U turn. Now.
What am I to do. Fullfil your responsibilities. This is the time to prepare for what is to come. This is the time to get ready for the next leg of your life. This is the time to accumulate and to strength the practise. Maybe the purpose is lost but the emptiness can still be filled with new purpose. To give one's life to the triple jem. To devote one's life to the practice. I take refuge in the buddha, the dharma and the sangha. I take refuge in my guru who's compassion is unparalleled to anyone. My guru who devoted his life to helping countless sentient being to escape from samsara in the three time. Bodhichita. How. Schedule. Goal setting. Realignment. What is your mission in life? Something to think about again. Relive. Revive. Challenges lies ahead of me but I can overcome it. With the right attitude. With the right motivation. It really doesn't matter what is the end but somehow getting there eventually.
Well, ready, set go.
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